The Cordless Threat

Undercover M.I.L.T. shoppers have discovered a new threat to children in stores all over America. Sometimes, we wonder if the manufacturers of these things don't hate children. In this instance, they've apparently focused on the worst aspects of power tools, and combined them in a small, portable child-size package!

We know what you are thinking- we were stunned ourselves. Why on earth would they purposely make a bad thing worse?

But that's what Dremel has done. Instead of limiting its range of destruction, they made it cordless. Now a child is free to roam anywhere with a deadly power tool- home, car, school, church, it doesn't matter to Dremel! High-capacity rechargeable removable batteries- the same technology used in the military- are sold to an unsuspecting public in these tools. What's worse, though, is their childlike size and weight attract preschoolers and toddlers like flies to spilled Kool-Aid. There is a collection of deadly drill bits, routing blades, grinders, and sanding devices that would make Torquemada squeal with delight. The 10,000 r.p.m. motor (that's 166 rotations every second- much too fast for any lawful purpose) can be "locked on" which is, of course, Dremel's playful euphemism for "full-auto."

Nine ounces. Full auto. Giggling Inquisitors. And your child could buy one today, no questions asked.

Cordless Tools
A Threat to Children

No longer is the threat to children limited by the length of an extension cord. With the dramatic increase in the availability of cordless tools, children can maim themselves and each other with ease.

High-capacity "clips" hold many rechargeable "cells" allowing the misuse of this tool anywhere. The Jiangsu Hongtai Machinery & Electric Appliance Co., who designed and manufactured this tool in dark Asian sweatshops, ironically use children prisoners to assemble and test the tools. We can only guess at how many horrible, disfiguring accidents they suffer while in the employ of their cruel taskmasters. While we can't help those children- yet- we can do everything in our power to inform you- the American Parent- of the dangers posed by these menacing motorized maimers. As usual, there are no restrictions on the purchase of these tools, and the tool lobby actively encourages consumers to replace their corded models with cordless. Some manufacturers even go out of their way to produce these child-killing machines in bright colors, the better to appeal to the young, unknowing shopper. M.I.L.T. thanks Mike Moran for bringing this situation to our attention.