M.I.L.T. Lawsuit

M.I.L.T. Announces Lawsuit Against Lawnmower Manufacturers

M.I.L.T. announced today that it was suing seventeen different lawnmower manufacturers for producing unsafe gardening tools. A spokesperson, who preferred to remain anonymous, said, " Each year over 500,000 lawn cutting related accidents send nearly 100,000 Americans to the hospital with serious injuries. Many of them are probably children. We have the technology to stop these accidents by the simple installation of plastic lawn mower blades, yet manufacturers refuse to use them. We say, "Enough is enough!'"

Lawn-mowing equipment is responsible for thousands of particularly grisly injuries every year. "Why, if there were this many accidents with things like bicycles, or hammocks, or firearms, the country would be up in arms! Instead, there is nary a peep," said M.I.L.T. spokesperson Blaque N. Decker.

A representative from the American Lawnmower Manufacturer's Association, speaking on the condition of anonymity, gave the usual excuses about wearing the proper clothing and reading instructions resulting in less accidents, but if they all used platic blades we could cut the lawn in our bare feet with no accidents whatsoever. Zero accidents has always been the goal, and shall remain the goal, of Mothers Insisting on Licensed Tools.