M.I.L.T. News

The Latest News From
Mothers Insisting on Licensed Tools

President Bush Snuggles Up To Tool Lobby

President Bush hurt his hand while helping build a Habitat for Humanity home. ``I spilled some blood for volunteerism,'' the president joked as he arrived at a completed Habitat home to talk about his experience. Of course, talking about injuries and deaths caused by tools was not on the agenda.

Man Barely Escapes Death By Nailgun

A Texas man was nearly killed when his unlicensed co-worker's nail gun sent a three inch nail into his face. The fact that the nail missed so many vital areas is considered so extraordinary that X-rays and CAT scans of the event are to be used in medical classes. Normally, of course, the victim dies after a few moments of agony and terror.

Killer Saws Recalled

Buried in the "Business in Brief" section of the 14 November 2000 Washington Post, it's reported that Emerson Tool is recalling 3.7 million Craftsman branded radial arm saws sold over the last 40 years "because of about 300 reports of severe injuries caused by incompletely guarded blades."

Isn't that just like the Tool Lobby? It takes the severed limbs of 300 children placed on their doorstep before they'll do anything.

Email Address Changed

Due to Tool Lobby-sponsored spammers, our official email address is now M.I.L.T. (at sign) frenchu.com. It's java-protected against spammers, so if you have java turned off you'll have to enter it manually.

Tool Lobby Wins Another Round

Tool lobby activist Lee V. reported to his masters at a Large Tool Company today, whose crack team of lawyers immediately threatened to bury M.I.L.T. under tons of lawsuits unless they removed a photograph of one of their vans. Burdened financially as we are, we could only agree. However- our enthusiasm is not dampened one iota! If Tool Lobbyists think it is time to clap each other on the backs and rejoice in this, this one small victory, they are in for a surprise.

Seventy people killed a year in DIY accidents
Friday April 21, 2000
LONDON (Reuters) - Up to 70 people are killed every year in DIY accidents, with enthusiasts being led into over-ambitious projects by television makeover programmes, the government has said. "I think when people watch these programmes they assume it is very easy and think that they can do things as easily as the experts," said Consumer Affairs Minister Kim Howells. The government is distributing two million safety leaflets at DIY stores and he said: "The bottom line is that 70 people are killed and a quarter of a million injured and these figures are increasing every year. "Most of these deaths are caused from falling off ladders or through electrocution when people do not use a circuit breaker while mowing the lawn or using a hand drill," he said on Friday.

Buy M.I.L.T. Products

You can now support M.I.L.T. in its efforts to make the world a bit more safe! Visit the M.I.L.T. Product Shoppe!

M.I.L.T Membership Stands At 2 Million Strong

(Washington) 11 December 1999 -For Immediate Release- Independent auditors reveal M.I.L.T. membership to be over two million strong, making it the largest pro-licensing lobby in the country.

M.I.L.T. Headquarters Survives Tool Lobby Virus Attack

Agents undoubtedly acting on the orders of the Tool Lobby attempted to infect M.I.L.T. computers with a virus today, it was reported.

Tool Lobby operatives calling themselves "Dan & Dawn" sent two emails early on the morning of 29 October, just minutes apart from each other. One of the messages said merely, "This is a joke, right?" as if we were in the habit of joking about the safety and well-being of children! The next message contained the infamous "happy99.exe" worm virus.

Luckily for M.I.L.T. and children everywhere, we were having our weekly file defragmentation done and the office was swarming with computer experts, who identified and isolated the virus before it had a chance to infect our equipment.

Authorities are tracking the saboteurs and we hope to have them in custody by the end of the week. Just another example of the length the Tool Lobby will go to line their pockets.

Unintentional Injuries are the Major Cause Of Injury

"Unintentional injuries result in nearly 70,000 deaths and millions of nonfatal injuries each year. Unintentional injuries are the leading cause of death in the United States for people aged 1-44," says the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

Tool Buy Back Program Closer to Reality

Fueled by profits from the Tool Tax, the M.I.L.T.-inspired Tool Buyback program could become reality in 50 U.S. cities at the beginning of next year.

A pilot program run by volunteers and financed from several M.I.L.T. bake sales proved very successful, netting several assault drills, jigsaws, staple guns, and various other dangerous tools.

"It was my husband's," explained Rosie Redrektuum as she handed over an extremely hazardous Makita assault drill. "After he passed I never went out in the garage until I saw your announcement, and I thought I should do the right thing."

The no-questions-asked Tool Turn-Ins could continue if Congress passes the Tool Tax, which would place a 75% tax on all tools, the proceeds funding tool buy-backs, medical care for children injured by power tools, and educational programs for all school age youngsters.

New M.I.L.T. Motto!

The Seventh Annual M.I.L.T. Policy Workshop, held this year at the beautiful Fergus Falls, North Dakota Comfort Inn off Interstate 94, was a rousing success and all the Moms in attendance felt things went splendidly. Our main thrust this year was to finally agree on a motto for Mothers Insisting on Licensed Tools, and after much discussion an agreement was reached. M.I.L.T.'s motto for the new millenium and beyond is now officially, "It feels GOOD to give up a little freedom for a LOT of safety!"

Thanks to all the Moms who drove from as far as Key West, Florida, and especially to all the Dads who stayed home and took care of the kids while we performed some very important work!

Rumors Quashed

It has come to the attention of M.I.L.T. adminsitrators that someone- probably the Tool Lobby- has been spreading a rumor over the Internet regarding our intentions. The poll on the M.I.L.T. Home Page shows that visitors are decidedly in favor (over 45% at last count) of a complete ban on power tools of all types. However, a complete ban has never been our intention. We merely want reasonable controls and licensing on these tools, much like automobiles are controlled and licensed. While there are, of course, certain tools that should not be in civilian hands, M.I.L.T. certainly is not going to deprive the Licensed American Carpenter or Mechanic from following his or her trade.

M.I.L.T. Membership Grows

M.I.L.T. membership stands now at one million strong. Polls indicate that the majority of Americans want some kind of tool control or licensing.