M.I.L.T. Efforts Hit Sour Note

Just When We Thought We Had Heard It All

We thought that, during this holiday season, the Tool Lobby might release its grip on American society just a bit and celebrate the holiday instead of pushing their wares on a new generation of Americans.

We were wrong.

Although M.I.L.T. has enjoyed some outstanding successes, such as our Tool Buy Back Program, there is still a lot to be done. M.I.L.T. member Ed P. told us the Washington Post reported recently that the Tool Lobby has discovered a new and underhanded way of making their lethal gadgets more acceptable than ever before.

Witness Woody Phillips, from (naturally) California. Mr. Phillips, obviously a card-carrying member of the tool lobby, plays music which he performs using tools as instruments!

From the Post article:

On "Toolbox Christmas," Woody uses hammers, saws, drills, pipes, 50-gallon drums, ratchets, anvils, nailers and other items found in the workshop to perform such Christmas favorites as "Jingle Bells," "Joy to the World" and "Good King Wenceslas." This CD also features "Deck the Halls," which we imagine Woody could probably play while building an actual deck.

Oh, how funny. For some reason, the Post thinks that there is humor in attracting youngsters to their doom using tools. They continue:

On "Toolbox Classics," Woody performs the works of various great dead composers including Wagner, Mozart, Bach and Beethoven. Tragically, power tools had not been invented when these men were alive, so they were never able to hear the kind of thing that Woody has done to their music. But perhaps they are listening now, up in Heaven. Perhaps this is why our weather has been so extreme.

Yes, a tragedy that power tools were not invented a couple of centuries ago, so they could have claimed untold thousands of more lives! Is the Tool Lobby's thirst for human blood unquenchable?

If, for some reason, you don't believe us, write your letter of protest and contact the purveyors of this horrible onslaught on our youngsters at:

Gourd Music
P.O. Box 585
Felton, Calif 95018
Phone 1-831-425-4939
fax 1-831-459-7450
or visit www.gourd.com
(Tool Box Christmas and
Tool Box Classics are also
available from Amazon.com).